Waking Up.

Hey there, kids.

It's been a minute, yeah?

To be honest, I'm not sure why I even continue this attempt to blog. I don't really have readership, and I've yet to finish my new list of goals. At this rate, I MIGHT have a new 101 in 1001 list by the time 2015 arrives. Just maybe.

For at least the last few months, I've had an fairly decent excuse for not really picking this back up again. I've been busy. And for the most part, it hasn't been good things. But there have been a few good things mixed in, so it hasn't been all terrible.

So, here's the short version of the last several months: since March we've lost three loved ones, bought a house, and both started new jobs. The husband left his old job and started a new one, while I kept my old job and just added something new to the mix.

In March, we said goodbye to Joey's grandfather. In April, we lost my Aunt Carol. And then in June, we lost my grandmother.

We buried my grandmother on our 6th wedding anniversary. I felt all three losses deeply, but nothing was quite as painful as losing my grandmother.

Losing my grandmother has been difficult for me in so many ways. Not only do I miss her dearly, but she was the matriarch, the head of our family, and things have fallen apart since her passing. There's arguing, family secrets being revealed, division of possessions and opinions, lots of drama.  It hurts, and I've distanced myself from my family for that reason. I'm really surprised at the actions of some of my relatives - loss really can bring out the worst in people sometimes.

All of this loss has also has gotten me thinking about my own life and my place in the world. If I died today - what would people say about me? Who would mourn? I'd like to think that people would say that I was a good person who loved well. But I'm not sure that my current actions would back up that - not because I treat people poorly but because I tend to keep to myself. I don't invest as much time in other people as I should. My husband and I both have a tendency to keep to ourselves. As a result, we spend a lot of time with each other, but not with the other people in our lives that mean something to us. I still want to take the time to focus on the two of us, of course, but my hope is that we also start to spend more time with our friends and family - and that we take more time to keep in touch with those that aren't living in our city.

It's like I've been on auto-pilot for the last several months. I've been going through the motions, living life.. but not REALLY living life, you know? It's time to wake up, to try to enjoy, to experience. To pay attention to the things and people that matter to me. To truly invest time and energy.. not just keep up the appearance of investing time and energy.

And maybe waking up includes going back to doing things that I found fun and enjoyable. Like this blog. Even if no one reads it anyway. :)

I'm still here!

There have been lots of changes in my life since my last post over 6 months ago (oops). I'm working on a new list and hope to re-launch this blog soon (ish).

Kayla

So, I didn't complete this task in the way I had hoped - but that doesn't mean I wasn't taking the time to be thankful. I just didn't take the time to write about it, and now here we are on the last day of month. No worries, I can still redeem myself.

Anyway, I really am enjoying this time of being thankful. Like I said before, it's something we should do all the time - but actually taking the time to write it down, and challenging oneself to think of something different every day is therapeutic, really. I am thinking -- for my new 101 in 1001 list -- that being thankful for something new each day for an entire year might be a good addition.

I would write 20 different paragraphs about more things that I am thankful for in my life, but that would take too long and no one would read it anyway. So.. I will simply make a list.

I am thankful for..

11. Friends
12. Cousins
13. Technology
14. Career
15. Education
16. Stability
17. Soccer (Sporting KC, mostly)
18. Books
19. The Christmas Season
20. Sunsets
22. Laughter
23. Birthdays
24. Health
25. Photographs
26. Wine
27. Freedom
28. Money (Financial Stability)
29. Scarves
30. Good Hair Days

And there we are - 30 days of Thankfulness. It wasn't exactly how I planned, but isn't life always that way? I am going to challenge myself to be more aware of my thankfulness on a daily basis, and not just in the month of November. It is so easy to get into the routine of life and forget to take a moment to really stop and soak things up - that is my goal - to actually stop and soak up those moments, remember to thankful for the good things in life.

And as we enter the holiday season.. Happy Holidays!!

November (again)

And again in my effort to get caught up (as well as express my gratitude for things), here are so more things for which I am thankful.

6.) Mama Bear:
         My mother is incredibly kind, loving, and selfless. There have been too many times to count in which she has sacrificed something (time, money, canceling previous plans) to be there for me. And never once had I had to verbalize my need for her - she just knows my needs and provides. At 26, my mother still knows the best thing to do for me in practically any situation. She is wonderful. I honestly do not know what I would do without her. I wish I had realized it earlier in life (it would have saved me a lot of pain and trouble), but mothers really do know best.

Sister, Dad, Me, and Mom
at my grad school graduation

7.) Papa Bear:
       My father is the strong and silent sort of man. He doesn't tend to say much, but when he does, it means something. And most people don't realize it, but he's so funny. And he loves me unconditionally. He would do anything and everything to make me happy. He's had his share of health scares over the years, and I am so thankful that he is still with me. Some of the best memories from my childhood are the long drives I would go on with my dad. He called it the scenic route, which it was, but I'd like to think he took longer drives because he wanted to spend more time with me.

8.) Sister Bear:
       My sister and I haven't always gotten along. We got along great as young children, but let's just say I was a bratty teenager, and my 5-years younger sister often received the brunt of my angst. It was totally undeserved, as my sister is an incredibly sweet person. She is not only sweet -- she is generous, beautiful, intelligent, and hard-working. We get along just fine now, however, we aren't very close. But I am thankful to have a baby sister, and thankful that we have this opportunity to build a relationship and become closer to one another. I'm quite proud of all that she has done with her life thus far. She's a good egg.

And now that I've gotten myself all emotional.. I'll move on to a few more things...

9.) Art:

Vincent Van Gogh, The Poet's Garden
The Art Institute of Chicago

        I am thankful for art simply because it's beautiful. There is so much in this world that is awful, and as a result, having access to beautiful things is important.  Art adds beauty to this world in so many ways -- drawing, painting, sculpture, photography, etc. Art opens our minds to different cultures and points of view.I'm thankful for access to great art locally, as well as the art I've been able to experience while traveling (Chicago and Italy are the highlights). And I'm thankful for the artist friends in my life that continue to teach me about art from the creator's point of view.

10.) Travel:
        Like art, travel opens our minds to new cultures and experiences. While growing up, we did't have much extra money and as result, didn't take large vacations. While in high school, however, I started having the opportunity to travel through a few organizations. And after high school, I made it a point to continue making traveling possible. I am incredibly thankful for the travel opportunities I've had - both stateside and abroad. At present, I've visited 21 states and 3 foreign countries.. and counting! I know there others much more well-traveled than myself -- and that's okay. I realize that I've been able to travel more in my 26 years than some people do their entire lives, and I'm thankful for the opportunities I've had -- but would I like to travel more? Of course!

Bridge of Sighs - Venice

And I guess that wraps things up for today. If I can manage to blog again tomorrow, I should be all caught up! Being thankful is quite nice. Although we should remember to be thankful every day, not just once a day during the month of November.

November

I'm sure most (if not all) of you have seen the "30 days of Thankfulness" going around Facebook/Twitter. I participated in this last year, but found that many people got quickly annoyed with their feeds constantly blowing up with everyone's daily status update. For that reason, and because I'm trying to decrease my time on social media, I haven't been doing that this year.

I really enjoyed it last year, however, and have decided to use my blog as an avenue for expressing my gratitude this month. I have very few readers anyway, and only those that are interested can take a peek. I'm obviously behind a few days since it's November 13th (already!), but if I discuss a few items a day, I should get caught up in no time. I'll try to mix it up so it's a little bit of the expected (friends and family) and a little bit of randoms in each post. 

I'm thankful for....

Halloween 2012. Mr. & Mrs.

1.) My husband: 

            Of course, I am thankful for my husband above all else (not that these are in order of importance, but it would just feel wrong to list anything else before him). It might be cliche, but he truly is my best friend. He loves me, flaws and all. He works hard both at work and at home. He does the laundry and cooks -- clearly I've won the husband lottery. And he's kind. Those that know him are fully aware that if they need help with something, he'll be there for them. He's intelligent and (mostly) funny. We have fun together. I'm blessed to have him and I don't ever want to take him for granted. 

2.) My dog:

           Draco is a 3-year old boxer. We got him as a little puppy, but he's not quite so little anymore! He is now 75 pounds of cuteness. I never had dogs growing up. I had friends with large dogs, so I wasn't afraid or anything, but my parents never wanted a dog and so we never had one. As a result, I never truly understood how much a person could love their pets until he came along. He's playful, adorable, and loyal to a fault. He's laying next to me right now, waiting for me to get done writing so we can play. He is definitely spoiled, as can be evidenced in previous entries. He gets his own birthday cake and presents when we go on a vacation, because we're those people.  But we don't have any kids, so he is our baby. My life would definitely be less fun without him. 

This is his serious face. 

3.) Goal-Setting: 

            I know what you're thinking. What? That's such an odd thing to mention. But if you have the time and inclination to set goals, it means that you are in a place in life that allows you to think about the future. Basically, we've surpassed the first few level of Maslow's Hierarchy. If your primary concern is for your own safety, where you're going to sleep tonight, or where you next meal is coming from - you probably aren't setting too many goals. If you have the ability to set goals for yourself, you are comfortable and secure enough that focusing on the future is possible. And I am thankful that I am able to think about my future, set goals, and work on bettering my life. And without goal-setting, I would have never started a blog.

Coffee + my favorite mug. 

4.) Coffee 

           Seriously, who isn't thankful for coffee? Even my husband (who is strange and doesn't like coffee) is probably thankful for the stuff because it turns me into a normal human being each day. Coffee is delicious, and we are lucky that it is so readily available in our society. We have so many different options for how to drink our coffee, it has a fascinating history, has some great health benefits, and.. I really can't stress this enough.. it turns me into a normal human being each morning. Also, coffee mugs. I love them. It's a little (or maybe a lot) silly how much joy I experience when drinking from one of my favorite coffee mugs. I have several. At some point the husband will probably ban me from buying any more coffee mugs. But the one pictured? How can you not purchase a TARDIS mug? It's my favorite of all my favorites.

5.) Health Care:

          Now, I'm not trying to get all political here. I just think it's worth mentioning that having steady, predictable access to health care and medications is something that many of us take for granted. So many people do not have this luxury, both in our country and all over the world. If I'm sick, I have several different options - primary care physician, urgent care, ER, health clinic, etc. And any of those places can write me a prescription and a pharmacy (likely in house or just minutes away) can have that medication ready for me in 10 minutes or less. I'm thankful that I never have to be concerned that I can't visit a doctor or get any medications that I might need. 

Aaanndd that's wrap for today! 

Time's Up

My 1001 days were officially over on August 13th. I still can't quite believe that 1001 days have gone by since I started this little project. You have this huge list of things that you want to accomplish, but that's okay, because you have plenty of time.

Except you don't.

Isn't it that way with many things in life? We seem to be under the impression that time is an infinite resource. There is always more time. I'll do this later, I'll go see her tomorrow, etc.

But time runs out. Sometimes, that thing you didn't do because you had more time - was your last chance to do whatever that thing was, you just didn't realize it.

That changes my perspective on a lot of decisions. If this were my last chance to do ______, would I still put it off? Sometimes, I still would put it off. For example, my quality of life wouldn't decrease if I didn't put together that puzzle and never got the chance.

If it's a trip, or spending time with someone I love, or making a decision about my health, I'd make the decision right then and there if I knew I would run out of time.

I could go further in depth with this, but I won't. At least not on here - but in the privacy of my own thoughts, it's been weighing on me heavily this morning.

So what will I do now? I actually think I'll start over, make a new list. There are things I still would like to accomplish on the previous one, and I'm sure I can think of plenty of new goals.

I'm going to put some thought into making the list, so when it's done, I'll post it and keep right on going.

Steamboat Arabia

In the middle of River Market (a farmer's market in Downtown KC), there is the Steamboat Arabia Museum. It is a collection of artifacts from the Steamboat Arabia, which sank on the Missouri River in 1856. The boat was not recovered until the 1980s.

Buttons and Native American
Trading Beads

The museum is a very popular location for elementary school field trips, but my class had never gone. Joey had been, but he was so young that he didn't really remember much. So, after breakfast one Saturday morning, we decided to check it out. I really had no idea what to expect. If I'm being honest, I really didn't expect much.

I was pleasantly surprised.

The Steamboat Arabia was packed full of cargo when it sank, making the museum the largest collection of pre-civil war artifacts in the world. Pretty cool, right?

More buttons. There were so
many buttons on this ship!

The Arabia was actually recovered by five private citizens with zero excavation or preservation experience, funded with their own pocketbooks. By the 1980's, due to the movement of the Missouri River, the Arabia was actually now sitting underneath a corn field. Luckily, the farmer that owned the land was open minded when five strangers approached him and ask if they could dig on his land and find the Arabia. The farmer had grown up hearing stories about the ship from his father and grandfather, and the family had always suspected the Arabia was somewhere buried beneath their fields.

When you tour the museum, the diggers are there to answer questions and talk about their experience bringing the Arabia to the surface. One of the diggers explained that they spent $1 million dollars of their own money, without really knowing if they would find anything of value.

The pickles, still edible! 

The Arabia was underground for so long, without any oxygen, that most of the items were totally preserved. It was an artifact  goldmine. The one exception was cotton, so many of the clothing had been destroyed, but even canned pickles and jams were as fresh as the day they were canned. The men that dug up the Arabia opened up the museum in 1991 (ish) and still own the entire collection. They have not sold a single artifact.

There were so many artifacts on the Arabia that items are still being cleaned and preserved. It is expected that it will take another 10 years before every item recovered from the Arabia is cleaned and ready for display.

Doorknobs and supplies
for building homes.

I would definitely recommend the museum to anyone. It is way better than the boring way I have described it in this post. I couldn't believe I had never been there before. It's a tad expensive at $14.50 per person, but definitely worth the money.

This blog/list of mine has really gotten us to do new things and learn more about our city. There are even more things that we've added to our own list of places to see in Kansas City. And we have tickets to our next destination for Monday.

It's Legoland! That's right, two grown adults are going to Legoland, without any children (on a SciFi themed night, no less) and couldn't be more excited.

We are super nerds. And I love it.